A Defining Moment

I am moving apartments.

Believe me, I wasn’t excited about it. I hired a couple of people to do my packing. Why? My place at one time or another looked like this:

Gwyneth Paltrow (like me)

But mine were in bookshelves.

Still, imagine packing twice, maybe three times that.

Ok, you get the picture. Over the years, I have accumulated a lot of books. They offer comfort, understanding, peace and well….knowledge.

Books are to me, what shoes are to Carrie Bradshaw.

In this move, I have 65 boxes and cartons. All books and periodicals, magazines. I am not one for love or fiction books. Although I have  a couple by Jeffrey Archer (Kane and Abel and The Prodigal Daughter) and Dan Brown ( Da Vinci Code) where through its media buzz, made me buy and read it.

I have a lot of cookbooks. Of course.

I also have marketing, sales and psychology books. Sssseeeelllllf Heeeelp (don’t shoot me) and Christian/Religious Books have been staple read for years. Recently I have nutrition and wellness ones . Gosh, I am uncomfortable discussing this. It’s like I am describing to you what I have in my goodie drawer.

I want to get rid of them. I feel like I have gotten what I want from them and now its all mute.  Truly  confusing time, this is. Again, it is whispered, from chaos, get it in order. Speak your truth, my truth. I do not want these anymore.

Want do I want? I want to live what these books and papers say. It is all in me, with me, as me.  Been doing a lot of armchair living I see. No more. Making this move has not be a breeze. Not like in my coming here 2 years ago. Now I understand why. Had this been easy, with a herd of helpers sweeping and carrying stuff, it would have been easy. They would be bringing all my crap, just throwing everything in the boxes and taking it out in the truck. Then I would just be carrying it to the new apartment.

This time I have to be selective. Not everything comes with me inside. Most of the stuff will be in storage for a while until I can sort them all out. It has to be this way. I cannot keep them, they are not mine anymore.

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2 thoughts on “A Defining Moment

  1. My goodness, you certainly have your hands full. I know it is not easy to let go of things that are or were at one time very important to you. So I wish you the best. Try to understand change is not easy. There will probably be setbacks and mistakes along the way. Try not force things your not quite ready for. Baby steps. Each step of each day will bring challenges. Some you will handle easily others will be more difficult. There is no regret in trying and failing. There is regret in failing to try. Do your best and life has a funny way of working itself out. Bobby

  2. “Do your best and life has a funny way of working itself out”. Ding, ding, ding!!! This is sooooo true. But of course, when I was knee deep in the mud, I didn’t act or feel as if its all going to be alright. I was resisting, dragging and burying my head in the sand as I go through the process. Friends were really encouraging, and you were a part of that.

    Now that I have crossed over, I say to myself, I should have done this months ago!

    I spent a full day here in the new place and I love it.

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