Still Sleeping

I thought of big things that would happen in my life next, after the last two posts and a few weeks had past. But I had been sleeping my time away. At first, I wanted to kick myself for doing that, then I thought thank God I could sleep.

Last September and through November, I could barely get a couple of hours of sleep. I was wide awake suffering in an anxiety disorder that really held up my life. I tried every night to get at least a solid four hours but all through those months, it was very hard. I would take a tablespoon of Benadryl syrup as suggested by some one, just to get a shut eye. I would usually wake up after an hour or two, and never get to sleep again.

I knew it was bad, as it would raise my blood pressure. No sleep and no appetite is a deadly combination in my experience. I ran on pure adrenaline and the more its produced the worse I get. I was afraid for my health at that time and I was so stressed.

Then something happened, after I prayed and prayed and prayed. Around December, I could just fall asleep after I lay my head on the pillow. I would get 6 to 8 hours of sleep, sometimes even longer. The pattern of sleeping less came back in January, but it didn’t bother me anymore. Around March till today, I got good sleep and we all know the benefits of sleeping enough hours.

With that concern taken cared of, I can move on to the rest and be better.

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It’s Not Happening

A month has passed by. I still have cough with phlegm. This is taking a while. I did the course of antibiotic, again. That has sailed.

I don’t have the full energy I need to train for running or other sports.

I am eating healthier though. This is the Christmas season, with a lot of parties going on, special cooking, and food shopping. I still have to eat a slice of ham, and its ok. I skipped most of the season’s pastries, high-calorie pasta dishes and chocolates.

I find myself eating more fruits, drinking coconut water almost every other day and taking supplements.

I bought a 600-mg bottle of over-the-counter cough syrup. It’s only gonna last for 34 hours. I am taking it every few hours, hopefully it helps.

Regarding my other goals, its slow moving. Rather than ask why, I remain open and optimistic that things will happen for me. I trust the universe to  work its real magic in my life. I am grateful for what I have and am doing my best for the things I have to do.

A Clear Head

I prayed for this, I worked on this, I stood still for this.

My cough has dissipated, I am on my third day of monthly  period and I have rested for a few days.

My mind dropped a lot of thoughts. I still have a lot, thank you. But  the calmness of the moment gives me a clear head. Losing attachment to things and people also help. I am ready.

Things are not perfect. I do not have everything I want or need. But I am ready to deal with what comes, not being confused or overwhelmed. I observed that in the past few months, I cowered in fear at the challenges of life. I felt abandoned by the strong force in my life, making me lose direction, focus, no ground. I floated for a while. Last night I felt my feet touch the earth. I can stand tall again on my own life force. I have regained myself.

I want to start with improving my health. I have reached a new consciousness about it, of course, through the health challenges I have had. Lord bless me with continued good health. Sleep has been well, I think that contributes a lot to the body and mind. I rest enough hours, maybe even more than I should, but I am not worried. It has settled quite well.

I take several vitamins and meds. I have the C, B++, E, and  a general multi-cap. BP maintenance has been reduced and doing quite well, too.

Ah, food. That deserves a whole post by itself and so is my new workout program.

Now for work. Thank God for stable internet signal even by broadband. My cellphone signal has improved also, I can now make calls and not get disconnected or get that awful choppy conversations with people making me feel stupid. Today, I have renewed passion for what I do.

With this certain order in my life, I feel the presence of The Holy Spirit. If not, I shout out, and ask Him to a two-way conference. I should do more of that.

That’s it for now. Happy sigh.

Me and Sleep

I feel guilty every time I make it an early night. I am awashed with self-loathing, I slacked up again. I should be awake and working, I should be awake! The book says we must sleep for 8 hours. That is a third of the day, for me, just gone with nothing accomplished. My bad.

Sleeping rejuvenates the body. Sleeping is good for you.  I can Google the benefits of  sleep and pages and pages of articles and notes will come up. They are  probably all true.

I need to change my thinking. I need my 8 hours, everyday. Ok, a lot of times I can’t do that, but I found out, that 6 hours is manageable for me. I feel rested, refreshed and ready for the day. This flu made me extra tired and sleepy. For two (2) days now, I have been taking a snooze, a lot. The cough syrup helps  lull me to sleep, I am sure.

My lofty goals  for the night get transported to dreamland, and even there don’t get done. haha. Ok I am awake now, that’s enough.

Let’s Talk About Health….It’s Time

I have the flu. From a sneeze and cough last week when I was moving, it turned out to be a flu the other night. Snot color code and all, I felt weak, drained, had fever and couldn’t think straight. Aside from the medi I took…. I rested. Just fully spread my foam bed and lay down.

I take this opportunity to take responsibility about my health. It is me, right? I suffer if I neglect my body. So in the spirit of self health care, I commit to making my life sustainable in every possible way. Yay!

I get bouts of cough every 3 – 4 months. 6 months being well is the longest stretch I had. It’s easy to get a cold as I am in a place where there is one  person at least fighting the same battle.  My immune system has to get better. It’s like there is an invisible shield protecting me, even when exposed to the elements and all sort of  free radicals around.

Being in bed, exhausted and sick at 8pm is never a pretty sight.  Now and in the days to come, I am mindful of myself and vow to live a better way.

I Can Visualize, Can’t I?

This is Meranda Kerr.

Supermodel Yogi

One day, I am going to do the same pose.

That is the most public declaration I have done in my life. Ever. Other people have their thing, like climbing Kilimanjaro, or skydiving from a cliff or an airplane or diving the  deepest seas. For me now, I cannot think of anything else, in fact, I cannot take it out of my mind.

To prove it,

4th Flow:SurfYogaSamba

from Flow:SurfYogaSamba

Need I  say more.

Putting Today In Order

Monday, October 31, 2011

We remember our departed loved ones every November 1, it is All Saints’ Day. This year it falls on a Tuesday, so we are having a long weekend of holiday. Time goes by so fast as those precious days are half over and soon we will be back to doing the everyday grind.

I am doing a lot of packing as I am about to move to a new condo. I think I am half done, and with a helper for tomorrow, I think it won’t be too difficult.  I have a lot of personal things to sort out but I wanted to start the day strong and with a sense of self. Exercise usually does that for me. I woke up at 5 am and ready for a brisk walk around the compound. After some warm-ups, I clocked in at 5:34 am, getting into a steady pace, together with the other runners and wanna be runners like me. LOL.

If I finish my walk/run before the sun rises, I feel I have accomplished something.

Sunlight

Like a lot of filipinas, we don’t like the sunlight on our skin. So by 6:35am, I am done.

But I feel like I am just getting into it. Oh well, I will do some more  stretches and yoga later in the day. I still have a few more minutes before the sun is really up so I can go to the market and see what’s for today’s meal.

In one of the stalls near the wet market, I ordered Filipino Congee or Lugaw and had that with some fried cut-up tofu with soya sauce. The vendor has this getting ready for the stove.

Fish Soup

It’s fish (Alumahan) soup with tomatoes, onion, and ginger.

Soured with Kalamansi,

And topped with Malunggay leaves.

I see it starting to cook really good.

Next, she is preparing pork pieces for her version of Caldereta.

Hmm, too bad I couldn’t stay for any of those. My boxes await to be filled and sealed.

At the fruit stand, I buy a couple of green ponkan.Never had them before, so I will have a taste.

Tuna

Fresh tuna!

That is a tuna belly.

And that is Tuna Panga, wonderful when grilled with soy sauce and Kalamansi juice.

I bought a slice off that belly and a tuna steak, for lunch.

I AM OWNING MY DAY

I am making a deal with myself to own this day. I think I did pretty well with the past couple of hours. I have paperwork to do, a meeting at 2pm and a late afternoon date with the mat and yoga dvds. The boxes will be filled somewhere in between those and into the night.

I won’t think past the next 19 hours. I have this first to go through and I am gonna like it.

This is my way of keeping the anxiety disorder in check. Changing the landscape of my apartment by putting away my things have been emotional, even if I know I am off to move to a better place. Going through them also bring back memories that I have dealt with already. Now I get to ask, I was this upset? I really bothered with these? Or the one I like, wow, I didn’t know this before? Pertaining to a book topic that I spent a thousand pesos to get enlightened with.

I have outgrown some, while I see some things I have to relearn again. Overall, they need to go to the box and get stacked up. I will deal with them again (to give away) when I unpack them.