Another Good Sunday

I enjoyed sleeping this week. That is odd, for me. When I had anxiety episodes last year, it was very hard to sleep, I could only manage about 2 hours of shut eye and I would be awake the whole day. Now a full 8 hours plus an extra one makes me feel well rested.

I spent Saturday night chilling, watching dvd or reading and snoozing in between, whatever.

I woke up and got online. My internet provider sucks, as most in the Philippines does. There is no good internet signal. I have to be here very early in the morning to get a post in and do some surfing. Hmmph.

In a few minutes I will sleep some more until its time for an early breakfast around 7am. Life is good.

 

Wonton Noodle Soup

 

Siomai

 

Breakfast in a Sunday Farmers’ Market

 

 

I will get the Sunday paper, probably go to the farmers’ market ¬†and have a good noodle soup with siomai. Wonderful. It’s really free falling today with a couple of chores like giving my kitchen top a good clean up and bathroom scrub. Typical condo cleaning.\

Later I will read about yoga and do some poses. A nap after sounds decadent, but I may go for it, too. See?

I choose to do all of these instead of worrying about work, or getting upset about an absentee father coming back into my family’s life and intruding into our senses. I will take things one day at a time and be detached to desired outcomes.

Today is being in the present, on a Sunday. ūüôā

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Sunday With Myself

I woke up hungry and thirsty at 3am. I slept early and skipped dinner. My slight cold was uncomfortable but I took the meds on time.

I just finished a cup of coffee and cooked Baguio Longganisa with Rice. It was a nice early breakfast that meant there would be a part two later in the morning.

It seemed I would on my own as my significant other, chose not to be very significant in my life today by being absent. He liked to sleep and rest on weekends.

Now writing in the present tense 

But my mind is full of things I want to do and accomplish, it’s actually not enough to tick off a lot in my mental list. I need to put them all down in my Note pad, but that will probably take the whole day already, shoots. Grrrgh. Still, I have to get it out of my head and make the list.

Church, prayers and bible reading. (Time with God)

Clear the fridge by cooking some of the stuff before they spoil.

Do a bit of laundry, such as have them picked up by the shop this morning.

Stop being a wuss and re-learn EXCEL on youtube.

Prepare my client list and inventory for work. This really takes the longest time.

Meditation

Exercise with Yoga for an hour.

Be honest and say Net Surfing as it’s inevitable my dear.

Study Health and Wellness. A personal crusade for myself. Shifting from clueless to well-informed individual about my body.

Gee, really a lot of things to do. But I want to stay connected to myself and not blow the whole day by just sleeping or watching DVDs.

Still Sleeping

I thought of big things that would happen in my life next, after the last two posts and a few weeks had past. But I had been sleeping my time away. At first, I wanted to kick myself for doing that, then I thought thank God I could sleep.

Last September and through November, I could barely get a couple of hours of sleep. I was wide awake suffering in an anxiety disorder that really held up my life. I tried every night to get at least a solid four hours but all through those months, it was very hard. I would take a tablespoon of Benadryl syrup as suggested by some one, just to get a shut eye. I would usually wake up after an hour or two, and never get to sleep again.

I knew it was bad, as it would raise my blood pressure. No sleep and no appetite is a deadly combination in my experience. I ran on pure adrenaline and the more its produced the worse I get. I was afraid for my health at that time and I was so stressed.

Then something happened, after I prayed and prayed and prayed. Around December, I could just fall asleep after I lay my head on the pillow. I would get 6 to 8 hours of sleep, sometimes even longer. The pattern of sleeping less came back in January, but it didn’t bother me anymore. Around March till today, I got good sleep and we all know the benefits of sleeping enough hours.

With that concern taken cared of, I can move on to the rest and be better.

A Clear Head

I prayed for this, I worked on this, I stood still for this.

My cough has dissipated, I am on my third day of monthly  period and I have rested for a few days.

My mind dropped a lot of thoughts. I still have a lot, thank you. But  the calmness of the moment gives me a clear head. Losing attachment to things and people also help. I am ready.

Things are not perfect. I do not have everything I want or need. But I am ready to deal with what comes, not being confused or overwhelmed. I observed that in the past few months, I cowered in fear at the challenges of life. I felt abandoned by the strong force in my life, making me lose direction, focus, no ground. I floated for a while. Last night I felt my feet touch the earth. I can stand tall again on my own life force. I have regained myself.

I want to start with improving my health. I have reached a new consciousness about it, of course, through the health challenges I have had. Lord bless me with continued good health. Sleep has been well, I think that contributes a lot to the body and mind. I rest enough hours, maybe even more than I should, but I am not worried. It has settled quite well.

I take several vitamins and meds. I have the C, B++, E, and  a general multi-cap. BP maintenance has been reduced and doing quite well, too.

Ah, food. That deserves a whole post by itself and so is my new workout program.

Now for work. Thank God for stable internet signal even by broadband. My cellphone signal has improved also, I can now make calls and not get disconnected or get that awful choppy conversations with people making me feel stupid. Today, I have renewed passion for what I do.

With this certain order in my life, I feel the presence of The Holy Spirit. If not, I shout out, and ask Him to a two-way conference. I should do more of that.

That’s it for now. Happy sigh.

Hello world!

This is a very personal blog.

For sometime, as a domestic violence survivor, I had been stuck in the past. It was horrific, life stopping and a totally draining experience. But I came out of it with nothing but my broken self that I knew  I would piece together again  one day. The time it took to grieve  and accept the loss is exactly what is needed, and I am not about to question that.

I am now in the present. I know that the moment I am, I will  make an effort of connecting to myself this way.

This blog is born at a time that the chaos in my life is about making the changes about me. There is no one else involved. It is my personal time. I can do anything I want, go anywhere it suits me and just live it up. I do have a lot of lofty pursuits lined up.

But I start where I am and with what I’ve got. I have to be patient and let the process unfold.

Stay with me.

(Jupiter Image)