I Rise

People gathered on Valentines Day to support One Billion Rising, an event to bring awareness and stop all kinds of violence against women and assert their rights.

 

I fully support this cause.

I was once abused in a domestic setup. I knew what verbal, mental, emotional and physical harrassment and hurt on a daily basis for more than two years. Escape was a long time coming, but I got away. There was a cost for freedom and I paid for it dearly.

Now I am living a blissful life.

Sunday With Myself

I woke up hungry and thirsty at 3am. I slept early and skipped dinner. My slight cold was uncomfortable but I took the meds on time.

I just finished a cup of coffee and cooked Baguio Longganisa with Rice. It was a nice early breakfast that meant there would be a part two later in the morning.

It seemed I would on my own as my significant other, chose not to be very significant in my life today by being absent. He liked to sleep and rest on weekends.

Now writing in the present tense 

But my mind is full of things I want to do and accomplish, it’s actually not enough to tick off a lot in my mental list. I need to put them all down in my Note pad, but that will probably take the whole day already, shoots. Grrrgh. Still, I have to get it out of my head and make the list.

Church, prayers and bible reading. (Time with God)

Clear the fridge by cooking some of the stuff before they spoil.

Do a bit of laundry, such as have them picked up by the shop this morning.

Stop being a wuss and re-learn EXCEL on youtube.

Prepare my client list and inventory for work. This really takes the longest time.

Meditation

Exercise with Yoga for an hour.

Be honest and say Net Surfing as it’s inevitable my dear.

Study Health and Wellness. A personal crusade for myself. Shifting from clueless to well-informed individual about my body.

Gee, really a lot of things to do. But I want to stay connected to myself and not blow the whole day by just sleeping or watching DVDs.

Easter 2012

Greetings.

It has been a staycation Holy Week for me. Oh how fast it has arrived and gone. Even if I am only here at home, time goes by just like that. After watching old dvds, I put on a couple of new ones, never mind what they are. Let your mind wander to what is legal and permissible.   More sleep, reading, meditation and yoga.

Easter lunch is with my daughter and mom. I have not managed to get photos, my cellphone battery is low. Bummer. But by dinner time at home, this is what I prepared.

I have this humongous square grill pan that I have never used. Last night I just put it on the stove, turn on the gas and lay the whole dinner menu. I have a small pork chop that I have been marinating on soy-lemon juice-cracked pepper, sliced onions and tomatoes and several shrimps. A dash of olive oil on them and watched them have that nice grill marks we all see on the tv. Got to have those grill marks.

Coffee afterwards and a 30-minute meditation before reading. Sleep comes much later. That has been a rather heavy dinner for me, I really should have made it for lunch, to have time to  digest properly. Note to self, next time.

I am truly blessed and grateful, for another year. I don’t want to get all mushy about what this season means to me. It will reveal itself in the next posts. Happy sigh.

Still Sleeping

I thought of big things that would happen in my life next, after the last two posts and a few weeks had past. But I had been sleeping my time away. At first, I wanted to kick myself for doing that, then I thought thank God I could sleep.

Last September and through November, I could barely get a couple of hours of sleep. I was wide awake suffering in an anxiety disorder that really held up my life. I tried every night to get at least a solid four hours but all through those months, it was very hard. I would take a tablespoon of Benadryl syrup as suggested by some one, just to get a shut eye. I would usually wake up after an hour or two, and never get to sleep again.

I knew it was bad, as it would raise my blood pressure. No sleep and no appetite is a deadly combination in my experience. I ran on pure adrenaline and the more its produced the worse I get. I was afraid for my health at that time and I was so stressed.

Then something happened, after I prayed and prayed and prayed. Around December, I could just fall asleep after I lay my head on the pillow. I would get 6 to 8 hours of sleep, sometimes even longer. The pattern of sleeping less came back in January, but it didn’t bother me anymore. Around March till today, I got good sleep and we all know the benefits of sleeping enough hours.

With that concern taken cared of, I can move on to the rest and be better.

Today I Saw Irony

I waited in suspense. They say it would open as a better and refurbished one. Launching was exactly at this hour. Well, the minute passed. Nothing, wait hold on, a little delay, almost there, blah blah blah. I had to leave to get to my day. When I came back, I saw it. Huh? There were sponsors on the right side. Up there were what I thought were just categories. I clicked.  A new post, yes. But the old posts in the category were all there. Hmm. So what was changed that took 2 months? Then there were kudos of congratulations. It was awesome, a girl said. Really good. Duh.

In the bookstore, I saw  Sandy Daza’s new cookbook. Small, thin, simple white covering with his picture in front. 185 pesos. Hmm. Grabbed it and paid for it, still in its plastic covering, mistake. When I ripped open, I knew I would regret buying. I did. Newsprint, simple common recipes, bouillon cube is an ingredient, and no pictures. Wow, another disappointment in the same day.

 

Book

 

His blog  http://sandydaza.blogspot.com/ has the recipes from the book, with pictures.

Simple but exalted. Then an icon in brown newsprint. Irony.

I don’t want to say more, you may think I am dissing them. No! Damn no. I want them to be right and grand. I am not happy I am disappointed. I wish the blog is spectacular and I will hang out a lot there. I wish that even if its newsprint, the recipes are cool, innovative and delicious. Well, now I can do a cook through easily and simply. But I am not using a bouillon cube, excuse me.

Personal Shaper

I admire people out there saving the environment, feeding the hungry people of Africa, and protecting the endangered whales of the seas. They are so awesome, taking care of other things than themselves. At one point in my life, I have been called to public service and did my tour. That was the time of the earthquake and erupting volcanoes. Nowadays, my area of responsibility is smaller. I take care of  my daughter, my recuperating mother, my clients’ needs, a soon to open office with partners. Yeah, those are others, and also a significant one that is part of my life now.

So I focus more now on the homefront and myself. The operative word being, myself. I guess its  a phase. I want to have the full awareness of this time, to embrace what’s going on and come out of it like I milked it with every wonderful experience I could. Let’s say, a year? 12 months of taking care of myself, learning about me and letting me be the best that I can be. I take on shaping myself  as a project.

ASPECTS OF MY LIFE

Wellness is a priority, as in my next meal undergoes change as my body cannot take food from fast food and restaurants with a lot of additive, flavor enhancers named “spices” and MSG. I feel sick immediately after eating and it takes several days a  lot of antihistamine to get the toxins out.

Moving the yoga way. I make my practice a personal one. I do it privately. I haven’t joined a class. There is a club nearby I can go, maybe in a few months as I expand my hours out of the  home.

Study up. My book shelves  are full of stuff I want to read on.

Personal care. I am too lazy to keep up with my regimens. Now is the time to get back into the ritual.

Work takes a lot of  my time too these days. That is fun as I like what I do. With my project, our new office is about to open up, so there is a lot to do.

Later on, travel and seeing places.

I hope to have a home church too within this time, to nourish my spiritual growth.

That’s a good list of things to focus on in the coming months of 2012. Before writing this post, I have been feeling quite guilty as I think its selfish. But I am glad I made this decision and said my declarations.

International Women’s Day 2012

It’s today, March 8, the International Women’s Day. It is celebrated all over the world to honor women. I am sure there are so many events happening every where to commemorate and give special treatment to woman kind.

Well, I go through my usual day, with a sprained ankle I got yesterday. I twisted it walking over uneven cement road. My right pinky toe is still broken from hitting a metal chair last Monday. So over all, I have a busted right foot. I have a pile of paperwork on my table and some virus issues in my laptop. So by itself, it is pretty toxic.

But I am not gonna take shit from anybody today. I will celebrate my life as a woman. For what it’s worth, I have accomplished a lot. I am an independent single mother, I have endured and triumped over domestic violence, gone through depression and just got over having anxiety attacks. I have coached myself, with the help of some good-meaning friends out of the doldrums and moving along in 2012.

To put it simply, I am going to be kind to myself. It’s a conscious effort, as I, like other women are nurturers. We take care of a lot things and a lot of other people first. Their needs before mine. Well, I am not ignoring anything at all, I am just going to focus on my own well-being.  This must be an everyday thing, not just for today. It’s a nice feeling, actually. I feel kinda beat-up. So I will nourish myself back to good health, joyful feeling and blissful life.