They Are Gifts

Presents they are also called. LOL.

My life recently is in chaos. Losing someone, Anxiety, Depression, Lack of Direction in Work, Moving To A New Place, Health Concerns, all while being alone.

I can do badly with these, or I can take up each one, open what each box contains and see it another way.

He did well with me, but he couldn’t stay. The minutes, hours and days spent with him, were memorable. Somebody else has to top that.

Anxiety and Depression stopped by for a visit right after that. They stayed for a while, about 3 months, making me lose direction in work and in life. But I finally beat them at my own game, the game of Life.

Right now, I have a new interest and vigor in what I do for a living, I am enjoying myself and have great plans for the ensuing months. Watch out 2012.

Ah, the new place. The move was not as cathartic as I thought it would be. I did lose myself for a while. I felt weak, fearful and unsure of myself. That too came to pass. I am now making a new life at a new apartment. How cool is that?

I do need to stay the course. But the future is not guaranteed for any of us. I breathe in a new day today 11-11-2011. I have opened my presents and liked not what I initially saw, but in the use they have in making my life better.


The Art and Science – Of Being Alone……and Sick

This is just a cough and a cold, nasty a bit with phlegm in my air passage ways. It is without a doubt, discomforting. In this weather we are having in Manila, sunny turned drizzle to heavy rain and back, a lot of people get sick. They don’t stay home. They continue with their activities and contaminate others. I got this one from a neighbor. But, its not him, its me. Or rather, my immune system. The stress of the past few weeks, lowered by immunity. So when other people’s germs are  around, it got me, right when  I was moving.

So, I am in this new place, with a ton of things to do, and I am sick and alone. It has the makings of another downfall. But no, not this time. My whole big bag of emotions won’t come out and mess the place up. I am sick, I get back into health, taking care of myself and kicking this cough’s butt out of here. First off, fluids. I drink a lot of water. Then vitamins, I load up on  C and a multi-lettered magic pill. Clusivol, Pharmaton, or what. I know the arguments on this. I don’t care. I take one each day. I do have to decide whether I take this everyday from now on. In the meantime, it’s conditioning my mind that it will make me well. Think placebo effect, guys. I am going for that.

Well, I can use a hot chicken, no, I want a piping hot tomatoey vegetable soup.  I don’t cook yet here, so, scratch that for now, I will go back to it later. Fruits, I got a papaya and pears. Salad greens and white cheese. I can make a dressing and have that for lunch or dinner.

Got some yesterday


The kicker is this Zithromax thing that B recommended before. He used to get this and bring me. Now, I go to the pharmacy and get it myself. Ahh, they are asking for a prescription, boink. I don’t have any. Can’t Mercury Drug Store see I am self-medicating here. I am doing everything myself. Hmm. No dice.

At 6pm in the evening, I searched for other places where I can score this antibiotic that will kill the germs.  Found azithromycin, that will do. Next off, park myself in bed. Rest my poor battered, body. Turn off the lights, fluff up my pillows, get the dvd running to something I have seen a dozen times, so its a mindless watch. I made a cup of coffee but even before I could take one sip, I was out. Zzzzz.



The whole exercise is the science of getting well with this usual respiratory ailments. The art is in not being engulfed with self-pity, loneliness and neglecting the self. Truly. Dump the baggage of emotion away from you on this one. Heal in the best way you know. Oh, you don’t know? This is not the first time I have had a cold, cough, flu. I am using awareness to do what I need to, for myself. Short of writing the color code of snot.

Clear means its ok, take fluids and vitamins.

Yellow snot means a sinus infection, take Sinutab.

Green means you got bacteria and must take what can get rid of that. Ooops, that is the way of self-medicating. Go to the doctor.