Another Good Sunday

I enjoyed sleeping this week. That is odd, for me. When I had anxiety episodes last year, it was very hard to sleep, I could only manage about 2 hours of shut eye and I would be awake the whole day. Now a full 8 hours plus an extra one makes me feel well rested.

I spent Saturday night chilling, watching dvd or reading and snoozing in between, whatever.

I woke up and got online. My internet provider sucks, as most in the Philippines does. There is no good internet signal. I have to be here very early in the morning to get a post in and do some surfing. Hmmph.

In a few minutes I will sleep some more until its time for an early breakfast around 7am. Life is good.

 

Wonton Noodle Soup

 

Siomai

 

Breakfast in a Sunday Farmers’ Market

 

 

I will get the Sunday paper, probably go to the farmers’ market ¬†and have a good noodle soup with siomai. Wonderful. It’s really free falling today with a couple of chores like giving my kitchen top a good clean up and bathroom scrub. Typical condo cleaning.\

Later I will read about yoga and do some poses. A nap after sounds decadent, but I may go for it, too. See?

I choose to do all of these instead of worrying about work, or getting upset about an absentee father coming back into my family’s life and intruding into our senses. I will take things one day at a time and be detached to desired outcomes.

Today is being in the present, on a Sunday. ūüôā

Still Sleeping

I thought of big things that would happen in my life next, after the last two posts and a few weeks had past. But I had been sleeping my time away. At first, I wanted to kick myself for doing that, then I thought thank God I could sleep.

Last September and through November, I could barely get a couple of hours of sleep. I was wide awake suffering in an anxiety disorder that really held up my life. I tried every night to get at least a solid four hours but all through those months, it was very hard. I would take a tablespoon of Benadryl syrup as suggested by some one, just to get a shut eye. I would usually wake up after an hour or two, and never get to sleep again.

I knew it was bad, as it would raise my blood pressure. No sleep and no appetite is a deadly combination in my experience. I ran on pure adrenaline and the more its produced the worse I get. I was afraid for my health at that time and I was so stressed.

Then something happened, after I prayed and prayed and prayed. Around December, I could just fall asleep after I lay my head on the pillow. I would get 6 to 8 hours of sleep, sometimes even longer. The pattern of sleeping less came back in January, but it didn’t bother me anymore. Around March till today, I got good sleep and we all know the benefits of sleeping enough hours.

With that concern taken cared of, I can move on to the rest and be better.

A Clear Head

I prayed for this, I worked on this, I stood still for this.

My cough has dissipated, I am on my third day of monthly  period and I have rested for a few days.

My mind dropped a lot of thoughts. I still have a lot, thank you. But  the calmness of the moment gives me a clear head. Losing attachment to things and people also help. I am ready.

Things are not perfect. I do not have everything I want or need. But I am ready to deal with what comes, not being confused or overwhelmed. I observed that in the past few months, I cowered in fear at the challenges of life. I felt abandoned by the strong force in my life, making me lose direction, focus, no ground. I floated for a while. Last night I felt my feet touch the earth. I can stand tall again on my own life force. I have regained myself.

I want to start with improving my health. I have reached a new consciousness about it, of course, through the health challenges I have had. Lord bless me with continued good health. Sleep has been well, I think that contributes a lot to the body and mind. I rest enough hours, maybe even more than I should, but I am not worried. It has settled quite well.

I take several vitamins and meds. I have the C, B++, E, and  a general multi-cap. BP maintenance has been reduced and doing quite well, too.

Ah, food. That deserves a whole post by itself and so is my new workout program.

Now for work. Thank God for stable internet signal even by broadband. My cellphone signal has improved also, I can now make calls and not get disconnected or get that awful choppy conversations with people making me feel stupid. Today, I have renewed passion for what I do.

With this certain order in my life, I feel the presence of The Holy Spirit. If not, I shout out, and ask Him to a two-way conference. I should do more of that.

That’s it for now. Happy sigh.

Me and Sleep

I feel guilty every time I make it an early night. I am awashed with self-loathing, I slacked up again. I should be awake and working, I should be awake! The book says we must sleep for 8 hours. That is a third of the day, for me, just gone with nothing accomplished. My bad.

Sleeping rejuvenates the body. Sleeping is good for you.  I can Google the benefits of  sleep and pages and pages of articles and notes will come up. They are  probably all true.

I need to change my thinking. I need my 8 hours, everyday. Ok, a lot of times I can’t do that, but I found out, that 6 hours is manageable for me. I feel rested, refreshed and ready for the day. This flu made me extra tired and sleepy. For two (2) days now, I have been taking a snooze, a lot. The cough syrup helps ¬†lull me to sleep, I am sure.

My lofty goals ¬†for the night get transported to dreamland, and even there don’t get done. haha. Ok I am awake now, that’s enough.

The Art and Science – Of Being Alone……and Sick

This is just a cough and a cold, nasty a bit with phlegm in my air passage ways. It is without a doubt, discomforting. In this weather we are having in Manila, sunny turned drizzle to heavy rain and back, a lot of people get sick. They don’t stay home. They continue with their activities and contaminate others. I got this one from a neighbor. But, its not him, its me. Or rather, my immune system. The stress of the past few weeks, lowered by immunity. So when other people’s germs are ¬†around, it got me, right when ¬†I was moving.

So, I am in this new place, with a ton of things to do, and I am sick and alone. It has the makings of another downfall. But no, not this time. My whole big bag of emotions won’t come out and mess the place up. I am sick, I get back into health, taking care of myself and kicking this cough’s butt out of here. First off, fluids. I drink a lot of water. Then vitamins, I load up on ¬†C and a multi-lettered magic pill. Clusivol, Pharmaton, or what. I know the arguments on this. I don’t care. I take one each day. I do have to decide whether I take this everyday from now on. In the meantime, it’s conditioning my mind that it will make me well. Think placebo effect, guys. I am going for that.

Well, I can use a hot chicken, no, I want a piping hot tomatoey vegetable soup. ¬†I don’t cook yet here, so, scratch that for now, I will go back to it later. Fruits, I got a papaya and pears. Salad greens and white cheese. I can make a dressing and have that for lunch or dinner.

Got some yesterday

 

The kicker is this Zithromax thing that B recommended before. He used to get this and bring me. Now, I go to the pharmacy and get it myself. Ahh, they are asking for a prescription, boink. I don’t have any. Can’t Mercury Drug Store see I am self-medicating here. I am doing everything myself. Hmm. No dice.

At 6pm in the evening, I searched for other places where I can score this antibiotic that will kill the germs.  Found azithromycin, that will do. Next off, park myself in bed. Rest my poor battered, body. Turn off the lights, fluff up my pillows, get the dvd running to something I have seen a dozen times, so its a mindless watch. I made a cup of coffee but even before I could take one sip, I was out. Zzzzz.

Bedroom

 

The whole exercise is the science of getting well with this usual respiratory ailments. The art is in not being engulfed with self-pity, loneliness and neglecting the self. Truly. Dump the baggage of emotion away from you on this one. Heal in the best way you know. Oh, you don’t know? This is not the first time I have had a cold, cough, flu. I am using awareness to do what I need to, for myself. Short of writing the color code of snot.

Clear means its ok, take fluids and vitamins.

Yellow snot means a sinus infection, take Sinutab.

Green means you got bacteria and must take what can get rid of that. Ooops, that is the way of self-medicating. Go to the doctor.